‘My partner and I have a child but he doesn’t want to marry me’


When it comes to long-term dating you often go through the stages of being in a relationship, to getting engaged and having children, right?

Well, for one person who has been with their partner for four years and has a child with them, the next step would be getting hitched.

Sadly, not in this case as one person has taken to the online forum Reddit to share their dilemma.

The post stated: “So my partner and I have been together for four years and he still isn’t ready for marriage. When I first brought up marriage he would give me excuses like ‘I want to have a wedding that’s different and no one is doing it’, ‘I want to save up enough money for a ring’ and even ask ‘Why don’t you propose to me’. I told him I would and he still told me he wouldn’t say yes.

“Just recently we had a discussion about it and he finally came clean and told me he doesn’t want to marry me now because I have growing to do. He feels like I’m a bit too childish still. I also feel like he’s a bit childish but I know that I want to marry him and I want to be with him forever and he says he knows the same thing but yet no ring.

“We’ve lived with one another for three-four years and we have a 3-year-old child. I’m not sure what else he’s looking for me to grow from besides my age. He says I’m an emotional thinker and that I tend to get revenge when I’m wrong. I have grown a lot from that and I know I’m still growing from it but it doesn’t seem like that’s a valid reason to me especially because we’ve been together for four years and have a child.”

People took to the thread to share their advice and suggestions to the user, with one person writing: “OP truth be told when someone WANTS to do something they DO it and don’t make excuses. You can keep hanging on this thread and trying to be Cinderella, but at some point, you’ll need to admit it’s just a fairytale and will not happen. At least not with him.”

Another said: “He is never going to marry you. You need to decide if you’re willing to stay with the way things are or if it’s time to go. He thinks you need to be perfect to be worthy of marriage. You will never be. Maybe he’s just shitty but this also is the kind of thing verbally abusive dudes say.”

A third added: “How much you wanna bet when they break up, he marries the next girl he’s with?”

A user commented: “He’s basically holding out for “the one” right now by using OP as a stop-gap to meet his needs until he does meet her.”

A fifth finally said: “She doesn’t realize she is not the one, she is just the one that got pregnant.

“So many people stay in relationships because it is easier than breaking up. People also get into relationships because they also don’t want to date around and don’t want to be single. They are serial monogamists who have long-term placeholders while they wait for the one to appear.”

Nevertheless, the person who created the thread updated the post at a later date and said: “We are talking about this marriage thing again and he now said that he won’t marry me because he feels like I give my energy to stuff that doesn’t need my energy and I make everything more than what it is.

“However, everything that I give my feelings towards his family and friends with the small life inconveniences. I pointed out that we are doing the same thing and his only response was that he doesn’t do it as much as I do it.”

What do you think the Reddit user should do? Let us know in the comments.

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