My husband and I only go on holidays for one thing that’s saved our marriage

2039


Kate and her husband Ant

Kate and her husband Ant (Image: Jam Press)

A couple from Manchester have disclosed that they use cruise holidays as an opportunity to swing with other couples, a practice they claim has “saved” their marriage. Kate and her husband Ant, both in their early 40s, have embarked on over 14 different cruise lines and spent an impressive 120 nights at sea across 45 ships, where they’ve experienced plenty of action.

The pair began exploring the swinging lifestyle last year, using their time on board to “feel guests out” potential partners for intimate encounters. “I love having endless options,” Kate, a public sector worker from Manchester, told NeedToKnow. “We don’t go on every cruise with the intention of swinging.

Kate on one of the cruises

Kate on one of the cruises (Image: Jam Press )

“But the community aspect, the fun and the late-night energy on board fit so well with how we like to connect with people. The freedom of a cruise naturally mirrors our lifestyle – so what better way to find fellow swingers?”

Kate and Ant tied the knot in 2010. In 2023, Ant discovered that Kate had been interacting with other men online and had even had a one-night stand. However, instead of causing a rift, this revelation sparked a conversation about honesty, desire, and their mutual needs – particularly in the bedroom, reported Manchester Evening News.

Explaining how they approach their unique holiday pastime, Kate said: “We look at the nightlife first; bars, late-night venues and spaces where conversation can flow. Then it’s all about the vibe.

“Some cruise lines are more conservative, others attract more open-minded travellers. We also look for privacy-friendly cabins and itineraries with plenty of sea days, as sometimes you don’t want to rush back from port when the fun is only just beginning.

“We’ve had nights where the right chemistry, the right music, and a little too much champagne turned the dance floor into the start of some unforgettable friendships.”

When discussing their lifestyle with people who aren’t involved in swinging, they’re frequently confronted with queries about jealousy and faithfulness. And, whilst those who are aware of their situation have grown to accept their way of life, certain family members aren’t particularly happy.

Kate revealed, “Our friends who know are curious and enjoy the fun stories. We haven’t and don’t plan to tell our parents – but nobody would talk to them about their sex life anyway.

“My sister hasn’t taken it well; she’s cut off the friendship part of their relationship and only sees us at family events now. It’s sad, but we’ve had a ton of support from our community.

“The big question we always get is: ‘Don’t you get jealous?’ and ‘Is it just about sex?’ and the answer to both questions is no. It’s about connection, playfulness and exploring desires together.

Couple with glasses of wine

Life aboard the cruise (Image: Jam Press)

“We don’t see jealousy as something to avoid; it’s a signal to check in with each other if we do. If something feels off, we say it. Most of the time, the feelings of jealousy fade when replacing imagination with reality.

“And when you remember that you’re in it together, the jealousy can sometimes be a huge turn on.” Kate and Ant both assert that embracing the swinger lifestyle has “saved” their marriage.

She further explained: “Our marriage was never ‘broken’, our sex life was great, our connection was strong. But we realised there were parts of ourselves we’d never explored.

“For me, it wasn’t about needing someone new; it was about needing something new, my own experiences, my own stories, outside of the life we’d built together.

“Our lives now are full of freedom, honesty, and so much pleasure. We’ve created experiences and friendships we never would’ve had in a monogamous relationship.

“It can be messy, especially if we have a different expectation of what being ‘open’ looks like. You’ve got to get comfortable with uncertainty and with seeing your partner desired by others.

“We’ve found that what could feel threatening in monogamy, though, is actually incredibly bonding when you’re open. Start with conversations, not actions, and explore your partner’s desires. Ask what excites them and focus on their pleasure first.

“You don’t have to dive in right away; meet like-minded people socially and get comfortable with the vibe. It’s about communication, trust and curiosity before anything physical. We’re not here to shock people. We’re here to show that relationships can be playful, adventurous – and a little bit spicy.”



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